These past few days have been very interesting. I finished my Shakespeare final, Hillary Clinton’s lead campaign strategist told the press that Hillary has 3 testicles – and the pope announced yesterday that believing in aliens is no longer a sin.
::head spins around::
WHAT?
That’s right readers of The Weekly Brit. The pope – Pope Benny Sixteen – Joseph Alois Ratzinger – announced that believing in aliens is NO LONGER A SIN.
I read this on a message board and checked some credible news sources and found its true. I ran out of my room and into the kitchen to tell someone and had a Freudian slip the way only someone from Arizona can. With 100% sincerity, I said,
“THE POPE JUST SAID IT IS NO LONGER A SIN TO BELIEVE IN ILLEGAL ALIENS!!!”
That was when everyone just kind of stared at me…
“I mean – aliens – like from outer space… not Mexico…”
Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton’s lead campaign strategist in fact DID tell the press that Hillary has 3 testicles. I did not make that up. Remember James Carville, the guy that looks like a greyhound who used to host CNN’s Crossfire with that little dweeb who wore a bow tie all the time? Carville has been the lead campaign strategist for both Bill and Hillary’s campaign. As Hillary’s campaign is slipping away for reasons I’ll let those “political bloggers” tell you about – they’re pulling the gender card back out. Actually – I think calling it the gender card would be a misnomer, because really they’ve pulled out the genital card. Here’s the quote from her LEAD CAMPAIGN STRATEGIST.
“Hillary is the tougher of the two, the candidate you want on your side in a knife fight. If Hillary gave Obama one of her cajones – they’d both have two!”
It seems that the campaign for the knife wielding tri-balled candidate from New York is nearly over as she has lost her lead in every race possible as Obama has scored two key endorsements. John Edwards and James Carville – yeah – the guy who made the testicle comment came out and (got himself fired) by endorsing Obama.
Lastly, I survived my Shakespeare final. I’ll find out my score at the end of July.
If anyone is unfamiliar with the show crossfire and would like to see an excellent clip form it, the link is below.
2 comments:
Remind me again why you don't like Hillary? I only ask because I couldn't remember if it was due to some male, machismo bull shit and if I needed to be angry at you.
No - it's because she's advertising herself as "the candidate who will fight for America." She already threatened a nuclear attack on Iran if the situation in Israel isn't resolved and she becomes the president. Her entire campaign has been about trying to make Obama look bad - so by default - she would look good. She's playing dirty politics. Obama talks about what he wants to do to improve things - and doesn't rattle on about how incompetent of a candidate he thinks she is. Conveniently - he doesn't need to - she makes it plenty clear.
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